All good things come to an end

Exams are over and the term has slowly come to an end. There are essays left to research and write and I find myself at a loss again. No longer would I be looking forward to classes where I was certain to see my classmates, or to hang out at Chilango's after class for cheer-inducing Mexican music and burritos. Time really flies by too quickly and I find myself missing London even when I am physically here.

Last night we bade farewell to Juline. We skipped the Law Ball and found ourselves a quiet corner at Gordon's. We drank and chatted until the sky turned dark and we were shooed away. After I said goodbye to Henry and Juline at the Embankment Station and walked towards the Harry Potter Bridge, I found myself wishing that I had documented this moment with a picture, so that perhaps I could remember this in years to come. Yet a picture seemed artificial, even superficial and here I am writing this down in a somewhat public blog hoping to remember this sometime later.

I really should get down to that essay. This has been the best year of my life.

Renewal

It's been a while since I touched this blog. Being overseas for some time once again gives me the opportunity to revive it.

There are many opportunities in the UK and a part of me wants to dive into this sea of opportunities, to do as much as I possibly can within the short span of one year.

The other part of me wants to reflect, to take time off to find myself once again, to take time to unwind for there's always a time to work.

I remember Ecclesiastes 3: a time for everything, a season for every activity under the sun.

Perhaps this is the season for rest and learning, a renewal of the mind.

Walls between us

I observed yet again, how pain draws people together. When we parade our strengths we build walls. We incite competition. When we acknowledge our common woundedness, we find ourselves disarmed. Connected. Members of the same tribe!

- Tan Soo-Inn in Making Sense

Sundays

Thank God for church, for lunch with friends and dinner with family.

I'm extremely grateful for the time of rest and prayer. 2 months more to the anticipated event.

White fluff in the air

I chose this blog address two springs back. When the plants came back to life and the snow melted. Where there was vibrant pink blossoms and fresh green all over Beijing.

I remember feeling the uncertainty and the frustration of learning to adapt in a foreign land. And when I finally learnt to be part of that life, it was time to leave. Gladly so, and I thought to myself that I didn't want to come back in a long while.

Someone spoke to me about going to China, on an official trip. He spoke of the grandeur and the hospitality which was promised. My memories of China were of people, humble people living day-to-day lives, yet striving towards a purpose that was honourable and at the same time, all too demanding. It demanded their lives, their souls and their all.

My memories were also of 2rmb 1 hour ricketty bus rides to school, of being alone and self-sufficient. And the pretty white fluff in the air.

Cutest

My fiance hints that I write something lovey dovey about him and the wedding on this blog.

Well it's 2 am and I'm still trying to get the train ticket booking system to work while watching Rumpole of the Old Bailey on Youtube. I supposed that's rather lovey dovey.

This I say to you, although you're pink-eyed now,to me you're still the greenest. :)

Putting things in perspective

Life really is fragile.

The week

Fair bit of worrying and stressing up and breaking down at certain bits. It's so surreal everything is coming to an end. This I still find hard to accept.

I'm still trying to savour every remnant left of the four years.

Dear feat

17Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
19God, the Lord, is my strength;
he makes my feet like the deer’s;
he makes me tread on my high places.

- Habbakuk 3:17-19

How it feels like these days

Settling down

The last hamster's name was supposed to be Chickpea. It suddenly came to me when we were talking about Indian food. Oh well, now the hamster is called Munchy, much cuter and apt because it's gonna end up with Min Zhi anyway. :)

Today I hurried out of school, the search for chocolate as first priority in my mind. It's the baggage and expectations that came with school life and assignments that scared me suddenly. The heavy rain pit-pattering, unpretentiously, as if this was the way things should be.

These are the echoes of Eden
Reflections of what we were created for
Hints of the passion and freedom
That waits on the other side of Heaven's door
These are the echoes of Eden

It excites and frightens me at the same time. It makes me want to dance all day and smile at the silliness of thought. Yet I should really be concentrating on studying for the last lap instead.

This is so us

For me and for you

Kinda, tired,

I'm tired and in need of a cuddle-up.

Drained

Mentally. Realised I would probably be running on locomotive till 6 May then Europe here I come!!!

It's my last semester in NUS, and it all feels a bit surreal. I remember Year 1 Sem 1 when Caleb counted that I had 7 more rounds of examinations to go. Oh wow.

At least I'm delighted to say that I've enjoyed every bit of my university life. For the most parts at least, I'm not one who remembers the icky bits very well. So it's been good. It would be better if I could survive this round of exams too, I guess.

On an irrelevant note, I have now five baby hamsters. It's been a week since they were naked and pink, now they are a bit furry and endearingly squeaky. Mummy hamster has been rather edgy having to feed her babies and is constantly suspicious of us humans. I'm naming them Pennylucks, Baileys, Muffin, Finch and the last name sorta slipped my mind when I thought of it at first, I was tipsy after two glasses of Firefinch then. I suppose it would come back soon, or I'll just think of another name.

Last night

Last night we stayed up over wine and conversation. Four bowls of maggie mee topped with scrambled eggs and chilli tuna.

Before we know it, the birds twitter outside and morning light creeps into the darkness. Time as fleeting as it always has been.

Such are wonders of what is the remaining of our student lives...

...except that I feel uncomfortable the following day, with remnants of wine churning in my stomach.

All I once held dear

Today was my interview which I think didn't go too well, but I can only submit all my hopes and dreams into God's hands without too much disappointments knowing that I've tried to open a door. A door that perhaps God wanted it to be shut for my own good.

As we talk about futures...all the possibilities and what ifs. I would say that I've been worked hard throughout my four years for this, for a little ideal I had at the back of my head, that little excitement and anticipation that kept me going. I guess, at least I've tried.

Your arms wrapped around me as you said a short prayer for me, thanking our Father for this opportunity, my interest in law, for my willingness to surrender my dreams in knowing that there are great plans for me, whatever they may be.

And I feel safe, and secure. Knowing that I am in good hands.

All I once held dear, built my life upon
All this world reveres, and wars to own
All I once thought gain I have counted loss
Spent and worthless now, compared to this

Knowing you, Jesus
Knowing you, there is no greater thing
You're my all, you're the best
You're my joy, my righteousness
And I love you, Lord

Disappointed

Sleeping is always more important to you.

Psalm 139

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

All I can think about during a Biomed Law lecture. It really is quite amazing.

Time flies

Been backing up my stuff on the new Mac and finding lovely 3 year old pictures like these.

So then I blurted out, "You know, I enjoy growing old with you."


And you, true to your roots, replied, "The best is yet to be."

Did I not imagine this

Did I not imagine this? Sitting in a cafe, reminiscing the past, the ice-cream sticked boat and that flying blackboard duster. Age has caught up with us, but not fast enough. There's still future to look forward to.

How comfortable and beautiful it is that old friendship exists in the subconscious mind, in the unspoken words, in the memory.

Only to be rekindled 12 years later, in a cafe on a cool drizzling noon.