Ramblings

I have a very patient partner. He's been working all day and still agrees to meet me for dinner. Very amicable, very understanding. I wish I could be like him.

After today's paper (it was the last of all terrible papers this semester, and the worst bit was that it was actually manageable but I think I did unsatisfactorily but let's stop the whining here), got down to lunch with Qianxin, Laura and Huixian. Then shopping. Bought a pair of shoes because Huixian wanted a discount (I suppose I can give them away but they seem a bit on the pretty side now).

And Papers. Fear not, them. I've got God.

Which is actually all that matters, isn't it? I've worked hard enough to justify my existence and my gratitude towards being in law school. I don't regret not studying harder because I've tried to keep up with work this semester. I don't regret getting that wee bit of confusion during the paper and writing something spastic. I don't regret, I simply don't. Come what may, whatever the results may be, good or bad, second upper or second lower. I thank God for even giving me this opportunity to be here, to take exams, to (attempt to) glorify Him in all things I do.

Thank You, God. :)

Hello?

Finally took some time to call my Filipino mommy, Pastora Gilda, who was sounded so excited to hear me again. The next Bible-distributing trip is here again and I can't join them, and I'm now not so sure if I would have wanted to, anyway even though the I miss the people and would really like to meet them again. Alas, I've decided that I'm not into 'mass' mission trips or spending 5 minutes of my life with people who just want to spend more time with you, to talk about needs and things that matter. 5 minutes, of condensing my life and thoughts into a little speech and then leaving, apologising and wishing I had known each and every one of you, shared your dreams and your life. 5 minutes does not do justice and I will refuse to be caught in that dilemma again. I refuse to impose my ideals and beliefs on people in a mere 5 minutes, we would be kidding to ourselves if we think that we've fulfilled our 'jobs' for God.

Prayers. We share our troubles and prayer requests. We call, write snail mails and emails to update and show care and concern. I wish I can be there for you, to tell you that all is possible with God and that we are not afraid to pray and make our requests known. I miss you, you and you. And I do feel somewhat blessed, yet strangely guilty at the same time, to be in a better, a more comfortable position in Singapore, to be somewhere you yearn to visit. I want to be able to give unconditionally, to make dreams come true, to be selfless. And I should start working on that now. For now, I take comfort that we are bound in spirit and purpose, that we have the privilege to pray for each other. :)

Sliding

whizzing crashing drowning

in depression. Saturdays are not meant for staying in and moping. Nor are they meant for soaking pillows and bolsters.

So much for dealing with too many people you love but disappoint. Been having too much of such disappointment this week, it's painful. We talk about visions, goals, directions, about loving each other, about being in this together, about serving God together.

But we do not do what we preach. Imperfect people struggling to make perfect sense of things.

Wonderland

So my geek boyfriend tells me that he refuses to open a Facebook account. Inspired by Yixian (who created an account for Wai Han who basically said the same thing), I created one for him. It was fun! Much more fun than creating my own account. I had the honour of putting up various photos (his profile picture features him in a vampire suit and a mismatched pair of feathery wings) and tagging people and adding friends. And so my geek boyfriend tells me 'if you want to maintain it, it's your choice'.

This explains my pleasant surprise when I logged on to Facebook today and saw the elaborated information updated, the 3 or 4 applications added, the sudden increase of friends in his account. Resistance is futile, afterall, my boyfriend is a self-professed geek and will tell anyone, especially those who insist that technology is evil, that he is proud of being a geek. And so he tells me that he just wants to make sure that 'his online interests are correctly represented' (paraphrased). I think, especially the World of Warcraft bit.

Oh oh, you never fail to amaze and amuse me. :D

Slacking

is a never-ending cycle.

Thanks to Wai Han's recommendation, I'm currently reading 'Special Topics in Calamity Physics' by Marisha Pessl and am hopelessly addicted to it. It's the wit and humour that makes me want to slouch in bed and read all day. And also because it's a preferable alternative to Vita Food Products Inc v Unus Shipping Co Ltd or Akai Industries v People's Insurance Co Ltd. And what not...you get the idea.

I weep at the brief whiff of courage that convinced me to take up Conflicts this semester.

Nice Day

Really nice day today. Ended class quite early and then a surprise sms to meet up for lunch with Crall, ZY, Laura, Huixian and Dawn. Slacked around a bit, slacked around a bit more while the others rush their presentations. Slacked around a little little bit more at the bench, talked to Natalie, engaged in what I suppose would be meaningful conversations. Then watched 'Pan-kun' on Youtube, not so meaningful but definitely a good laugh.

Took a walk through the Botanic Gardens and then to Orchard with Wai Han. Totally hilarious outing and I really appreciated the company of looking at clothes when we were supposed to be looking out for birthday presents. Of talking about things that matter and do not matter.

Frankness is always welcoming and almost always underrated.

And I feel vaguely comforted to be a fashion idiot, at the very least in a culture of consumerism.

Anthropology

So much for complaining that learning nothing from Legal Anthropology. I do think I was being rebellious about it, choosing to say that I didn't enjoy it when I actually did learn much from it. God showed me that it was His plan for me to take the Anthropology module because of today's talk about unlearning the colonial missions we are so used to. Vinoth Ramachandra is an excellent speaker and what he said made everything so relevant, made God so relevant, made witnessing so relevant. The snippets of knowledge I got from Anthropology translated into the tangible, the applicable and I actually understood what he was talking about when he went through the colonial missions and how only when we encounter the 'Other' we uncover our blind spots. Okay, really difficult to put it in coherent language here because it's late and my dreams are beckoning.

It was refreshing and I feel suddenly awakened from that drought I felt for a long time. I do feel extremely blessed.

A Breather

I wish I had a camera, so that I can solidify memories and the funny intricate moments and things I see.

Finally taking a breather from the 2 assignments. I've decided that I really kinda hate churning out chunks and chunks of words to prove a point I don't feel much for. At least exams are less hypocritical, if such an adjective justifies.

Transiting back into school life has been difficult, much more difficult than I've imagine. Then again, I made a mistake for returning only one week before school started and then things just spiralled into a blur of events and meeting deadlines. Which is why I'm extremely glad to declare a one week break starting this week, then onto the next assignment.

Been blessed by many people I meet in school. Everyone in the VCF sub-comm has been a darling, people in the computer lab too (where I frequent now) and I made a few new friends too! Went for a jog in the Botanic Gardens with Jin Huang today, and never felt more blessed by the people around me. I enjoy the little walks I take in the Gardens, or a sandwich lunch by the pond. Saw an interesting specie of birds hopping from tree to tree, excited. Observed two chameleons fighting, fierce.

And I wonder how's everyone in China and Philippines doing now.

On an irrelevant note, I wish I was a redhead. Now thinking of whether to take up Natalie's invitation to dye my hair at her place (ok, not the whole head red).

Blessed Be Your Name

Wang Xing said that I probably should update this blog, not that any one reads it anyway. But I guess he does, and maybe Goldie does too, and some other people somewhere out there. Life's been hectic, it can only be inevitable that I'm sucked into the mindless rat race of Singapore, of running after achievements and trying to prove myself. Except that it is not supposed to be inevitable if I want it, and I should really want more meaning in my short time on earth.

Short time on earth. Few weeks back, I received an sms from Joel during class informing me that Adrian's sister-in-law, Serene, passed away due to child birth complications. We attended the wake and found out from Adrian that the baby, Ethan, was not out of danger yet. In fact, he has very low chances of survival and even if he does, he will probably be brain damaged. No doubt Serene has gone to a more desirable place, yet people here are left to pick up the pieces. Why, God...why? Why does God let this happen? I do not know why, neither do the teary people at the wake. Perhaps we are never meant to know why, perhaps we just have to hold on the belief that God is good, in whatever circumstance.

Perhaps.

Macau

Self-taken photo of us while waiting for the ferry.



Kelvin, Shawn and I went over to Macau for 2 days, 1 night. Macau is a really beautiful place, with an interesting blend of historical buildings alongside flashy casinos.



Boatride leaving Macau, note that long white bridge.







I love the Portugese style buildings along the streets, it has a nice European feel to it.




















This bookshop sells books written/translated in the Portuguese language.






Three of us in front of the ruins of St Paul's.
















A close up.































The streets are completely empty at night as everyone flocks to the casinos. Very very extravagant places, these are.

















The next morning, we went over to the Black-Sand Beach. As its name suggests, the sand on the shore is black, which makes it rather unique.




































I find the mishmash of languages rather interesting. Every signboard in Macau is written in Chinese (traditional) and Portuguese while people usually communicate in Cantonese.

Yay, Jesus!

This post is for my friends in China who wanted to see photos but can't access Flickr

I'm back! I'm back in good ol' Singapore and boy I miss home so so much!

This is XiaoJin, also known as Goldie (by Joel and I ;p) almost my 'guardian' in Beijing, but more of one of my closest Chinese friends. She sent me to the Beijing International Airport on 7th July. Much thanks to Ruyin who helped me lug my luggage and stuff down 4 storeys too. The checking in was crazy when Xiaowei was late and had an overweight luggage. It was a mad rush to get to the plane in time, but thankfully we did and it was actually kinda thrilling looking back on it.


This are the male escorts I had in Hong Kong. But they weren't really escorts because they took more time than I did in the bathroom and were very particular about their hair, and their shirt and their shoes and their skin complexion...you get the idea. I really enjoyed my 5-day rendezvous with them. It was hilarious and almost heart-warming in a weird sense.

This is Shawn, who wants is amazingly tall and who wants to be my older brother except he is actually a good 10 months younger than I am; and Kelvin, who seems to have a quirky interest in Shawn's behind all the time. And I am not kidding on this, here is one more photo evidence:

This was taken at the Black-Sand beach in Macau. Really beautiful, in my opinion. As its name suggests, the sand on the beach was black. But Shawn the tall brother kept insisting it was simply dirty sand.














This is Waikit, my tall mortal and naughty casanova.






This is us along the corridor of our backpackers' hostel in Hong Kong. It really looks haunted, doesn't it?



HONG KONG
Hong Kong is very modern, much more developed than Singapore, I think. I felt like I was back to civilisation when I touched down in Hong Kong, after flying from Beijing. The culture of branded goods seems very prevalent there. Everywhere you turn is some branded goods retail outlet, Gucci, Prada, LV etc etc, not my cup of tea, really.



Chanced upon a group of people filming. Saw one of the older Hong Kong actors. I think being in Hong Kong made me appreciate Cantonese films a bit more because I am now able to recognise the different streets in the shows.
This is the view of Hong Kong's city lights from the Peak. Beautiful.



This is a picture of the building we stayed in. Very characteristic of Hong Kong. Strange to see modern buildings all around and yet have several buildings with dingy living conditions like this around. Land is sparse in Hong Kong.












What can I say, these siew mais are absolutely fantastic and to die for.

Hong Kong- Shen Zhen - Macau

Blogging from HK International Airport now and looking forward to boarding the plane later. It's been a really cool week at HK-Shenzhen-Macau. I think my favourite place is Macau, with it's lovely empty roads (cos everyone is at the casinos), flashy casinos, beautiful Portugese buildings and an interesting black-sand beach. Other than that, the company was fantastic, moving around with three crazy men (later two) was a permanent stitch in the sides due to overlaughter while enjoying the decadent lifestyle of eating and sleeping and eating and sleeping. Ugh.

All the world's a stage

And all men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances.

Not sure whether I'm the one who is stepping out of their stage or they are exiting mine. Whatever it is, there is a new stage to look forward to.

Thank you, China. For all the memories that hold dear.

Excuse me

while I have a little chat with myself.

I hate studying

No need to elaborate, really.

Patience

God has quirky ways of breaking you down and teaching you to learn to be patient.

After three attempts of trying to take my IP Law exam and failed on all three accounts because the tutor postponed the paper each time (amazing right?). I'm really quite pleased to say that I've learnt to be patient and accepting.

Or maybe I'm just really jaded. But I don't think so, cause in the weirdest way, I'm actually quite happy it happened. :p

Dearest

China University of Poutical Science and Law,

Why can't things go right, for once? Sometimes it can get overwhelmingly frustrating, you know? Just spare me the agony, let me take sit through my four exam papers and go home.

And no, it really is spelled poutical. It says so in my school foolscap. The title and the school crest.

Love is patient....Love is patient...

23 more days to go, STILL 4 more exams to take (grr), one holiday to look forward to. :)

What am I doing

one day before the exam.

Copying out rows of Chinese characters because the examination is about testing your copying speed, not how much knowledge you have in the subject.

Thus, I have an aching hand and an ugly handwriting. :(

Phone calls

You said you wanted to call today and it scares me a little. It scares me because I wrote you a letter back then, poured out heart and soul. Actually it might only be tears which were spilled, the words smudged into a blur of purple and water. It scares me because in that minute puddle contains my little fears and vulnerabilities, not so little frustrations and gripes accumulated and have found release on a school foolscap. It scares me because we have not spoken much in years, and even if we had, my memories reveals pathetic one-sided conversations. It scares me because I've flown a great distance to escape, to take a break, to try and forget.

After all, to love, to forgive from afar is always, and has always been, much easier.

28 days later...

Not quite sure how to feel. Brain's too full of swirling Chinese characters bumping into each other in a random fashion, Brownian motion of certain tardiness. Then settling down to a line, a sentence that makes no sense. A silent grip of sudden anxiety, yet with a tinge of nonchalance...the prospect of failure.

I make no sense. It was simply an impulse to throw out English words I wish I had better control of.

Leaving two days after the last paper. Perhaps a quick exit will make separation more bearable. I'll miss Beijing, I think I will...but sometimes the frustration at the cloying slowness and missing (restricted) bits and pieces of the internet can be rather overwhelming.

I'm frustrated

The dawdling attitude of CUPL's admin is really getting to me. I can't book my air tickets because that particular teacher can't confirm the date (it's only a date, for goodness' sake!), and I'm fast becoming irritated with him as a person and teacher as well. Still I'm entertaining the thought of booking my flight anyhow. Just that sense of being worried that there'll be no seats available...

These hot days are mad blood boiling. And it doesn't help that I've developed little ulcers all over my lower lip, making it horribly painful and the lip-bearer feeling horribly unhappy with everything.

Love is patient...Love is patient...

Much to give thanks for

A thousand times I failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades

What am I doing now

Fighting for attention with a certain online game. I really am such a loser. :x

Happy one-more-year, Joel :)

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders build in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. - Psalm 127:1-2

Hillsong Concert

There was so much hype about it and many people turned up (as early as 4pm when the concert was supposed to start at 7pm!). But being much blessed, I was roped in to be an usher for the day, along with Ammily, Huixian and Jiasong. We had much better treatment - there was no need to queue up outside, there was food and we had great seats, up close with the performers. I really enjoyed myself and it was cool to see many people (only foreigners) turn up, worship God and pray for China together. It was very refreshing. I even met a few familiar faces, including a Taiwan missionary I met in EARC a few years back. And it was so much fun hanging out with the three others, it was almost hilarious.

I think I miss the 'Charismatic' atmosphere, and also the English-speaking community. But still since I've resolved to hang out with locals to understand China more, I shall continue doing that for the last month. It hasn't been easy sometimes so I need loads of strength from God to press on. Worshiping at Haidian Church has its commendable and shortcomings (as all churches), but mostly I feel I'm not being fed enough or the Chinese sermons are too difficult to comprehend, and not to mention rather sleep-inducing sometimes. Also I have my reservations here and there, and it might be too late to rectify anything. I'll just let God lead.



Happy ushers!














Worshiping God













I'm really really amused by Arthur and how much he's connected to Singapore. ;p

Children's Day!

1st June is Children's Day which is, if I understood correctly, the day the 少先队was established and on this day the primary school children celebrate it's establishment and would enter the the so-called party. (I hope I have understood 校长or小王叔叔correctly.) Anyhow, the teachers of 信心小学took great effort to come up with a Children's Day celebration at a nearby University to allow the students an opportunity to perform and have fun. Evidently, they did have fun (the whole place was pretty chaotic) and the tired ones were the teachers. After the concert, 校长looked at me, gave a sigh of relief and said, '感谢主！' Which was really, what all that mattered. :)



Evidently Children's Day








红领巾which is the red tie we're wearing. The students tied it for me as a way of thanking the teachers. Red represents the blood split in order to establish the Communist Party.














Primary 5 girls presenting a dance item.









Haha, I thought it was really funny how the kids got bored while waiting for the bus and simply whipped out a chess set and started playing, like those usual groups of old men playing chess on the streets.






This is Feifei, thinking that he's a fowl of some sort. (He was doing this while being totally unaware that someone was taking his photo. ;p)











It was an eye-opening experience, (especially when they had this whole procession in front, with the saluting and red flags) and it just made me love China more. Reminded me of this Chinese New Year programme that they show on CCTV every year. Last year they had this bunch of migrant kids reciting a poem about how their parents are contributing to the society through hard labour and how the migrant kids are not as well-off as the city kids and hence have less opportunities. Most of the audience cried during the performance and I simply brushed it off as them being melodramatic or some odd Chinese sentiment I didn't understand. But having this experience and seeing how difficult it is to run a school for such children and how they have much less privilege really made me appreciate all these.

Out of my comfort zone

So I'm finally ready to admit that being on exchange, and especially so in China is putting me out of my comfort zone. After all the little hiccups with the exchange application, the visa application, the matriculation card that took us 1 month to get, the housing conditions and now CUPL has introduced a new administrative problem of not knowing their own examination dates.

It is rather frustrating to receive an exam date schedule that only raises more questions than answers, there are no module codes, the tutors do not know either when their papers are, or what the exam format is, and appearing at the administration office only gives them a chance to refer us to this department, and then the next department and then the other department over there. And none of the staff knows the answer or who is in charge.

C'mon CUPL! You can do better than this!!

Indeed a huge step out of my comfort zone and learning how to keep my cool in times like this, with the uncertainty and wondering whether my travel plans will even materialise now or when I will go home. How I love NUS!

捉紧时间！

時間はゆっくり消えています。

でも、ゆっくりじゃない...速いですね！

生涯の日を正しく数えるように教えてください。知恵ある心を得ることができますように。-詩編 90編 12節

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. -Psalm 90:12

求你教我们怎样数算自己的日子，好叫我们得着智慧的心。-诗篇90:12

Rest

Hello! I need rest!

Came home from church and was immediately knocked out for quite long. It started from deciding to go for a later service because I couldn't quite wake up in the morning, then popped by Sunday School for a while, then a group prayer that lasted almost two hours. By the time lunch came it was 3pm, I went home without following the rest to see the new Sunday School room in the new church building.

Which summarises my Sunday and how time just flew by so quickly when you're enjoying rest.

On the other hand, I learnt not to be too chummy with friendly, male, ang moh strangers. It is getting a bit unnerving to have too much of such opportunities in Beijing.

最近

疲れましたね。

一ヶ月試験があるので、心配しています！だから、一生懸命勉強しなければならい。

シンガポールがいつも念していますね...大変！
日本語なぜ今までまだ上手ではないですが...大変！

いつもいつも「妹早く帰り」と思う、休みたいんです。

Hard disk

failure.

But it isn't that bad, and I was surprisingly calm about it, after being distressed for a while. Decided not to send my laptop (I have named it Nakamura 中村, so that it has a name before it dies) to one of the dodgy servicing centres here cos I heard they steal your laptop parts, and I need to data recover too (costs about 2000rmb for professional data recovery) and probably change my hard disk. No lousy chiong hard disk for my Japanese product, yah! So I'm fortunate enough to have Fangxi's laptop to use for 2 weeks while she is in Shanghai, blessed enough to have my sister send Nakamura back to Singapore, and to have a geeky partner fix it for me, and then sending it back to Beijing.

On the other hand, it's so nice to be able to talk to Rixin who is on exchange in Taiwan. Sharing about different experiences and learning from each other. It's so comfortable sharing about the countries, our burdens and interests in missions. Haha, and going 'totally understand!!!' at every thought and emotion. MEET has been really useful through and through. Feels good to know that we're never alone.

Food food food!

One year ago in faraway Mongolia, a bunch of bubbly girls on a mission trip were walking in the freezing cold rain in search of a guan (restaurant). It was the first day of the Nadaam Festival and they had just returned from watching the opening ceremony which looked vaguely like the National Day Parade back in Singapore except the soldiers were much more skilful and could ride and perform stunts on horses. And there were also formation dances, where kids danced on the stadium field waving huge gold ankle bones (playing with cow's ankle bones is one of the Mongolians' favourite pastimes).

So a bunch of girls, Aagii and Chris the missionary trudging in the rain in search of a guan, hungry and frozen. And because it was Nadaam, which was their huge huge huge national holiday, every single shop was closed.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this. Perhaps it's the misery of feeling cold and hungry and even more misery looking at the choice of food after we finally found a guan that was open for business. Mongolians don't have much of a choice, they basically eat the same sort of food everyday, which is understandable for a nomad's life. Hence every guan sells the same thing. I didn't really develop an appetite for bootz (meat dumplings) and huurshuur (meat pancakes) and other variations of oily meat dishes, and stubbornly stuck to calat (salad) for most of my meals.


Nyamaa teaching us how to make bootz.




















Ernie, Joyce and MZ posing with their last huushuur. I can't even remember if I ate mine. If I did, it was probably done reluctantly.

Haluina's sister enjoying suteze (tea with salted milk, has more salt than milk and very little tea). I wasn't very used to this, but somehow Ernie and Rixin loved loved it.









But but but when we had a Singaporean food presentation for one of our English lessons, we prepared curry (canned food of course) which tasted glorious! And bak kut teh! (Yum yum) And rendang! (what is there more handsome?) My Mongolian friends commented never had I looked so happy seeing food in front of me.

So, dearest Joce (who was with me in Mongolia and hence knows I need this) presented me with curry and rendang premixes before I left for Mongolia. At the airport, I pleaded with the Cathay flight attendant to allow me to bring my precious Milo over despite my luggage being seriously overweight. Then Joel came over with Post Cereals, Milo and lots of San Remo pasta. Joel's mummy made JoBeth bring even more San Remo pasta, so I gave a couple away ;p. Then my sister came, more Milo and more Post Cereals. And suddenly Sida, Rachel, Nat and Jamie popped by after a transit at Thailand and viola! Mungbean dessert premixes and GREEN CURRY! Today Fangxi and Bona came with good ol' sponge cake and Bengawan solo kueh lapis, laksa, more curry stuff. With omg, Richfield's chocolate with macadamia! Two months to finish this!

Food, glorious food!
Eat right through the menu.
Just loosen your belt
Two inches and then you
Work up a new appetite.
In this interlude...
Once again, food
Fabulous food,
Glorious food.

Doodles

Typing is bad communication.

It's so nice to have someone listen and provide suggestions. Feeling a bit more hopeful already. Crossing my fingers for now.

It's about time you do something related to school.

Yup, thanks for the reminder. And thank you, my favourite teacher, for making me to do an assignment on the difference between death by hanging and death caused by strangling someone...

He's gone home

Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. - 2 Corinthians 5:6-8

Joel's grandpa just passed away a few days ago, and somehow it's a comforting thought to know that he has gone home with the Lord after battling a deteriorating body and mind. The first time I visited him in the hospital was right after I came back from Mongolia, which makes it about a year since then. I did tell him I hope to see him before I come back, but... oh well. It is indeed such joy to know that we have a place to look forward at the end of this life, it's hard to let go, yes. But there is still so much more in store for us.

My niece who was just 13 years old, passed away a few weeks ago, very much to my atonishment. She was taken over by a bout of high fever, then quickly went into a brain-dead condition. After which her mother decided on euthanasia, and that was that, all in a short span of 2 weeks. It was such devastating news, for it simply shows that life is unpredictable, a fact we all know but often forget. Even more devastating to know that she had yet to know God. Hence in plain words, no place in heaven. The choice to believe is simple yet tough, and then comes the consequences we must all accept.

Law, here

合理，不合法
合法，不合理

Still think that law should be fair and reasonable, to be law. Quoteth Woon Kwong during Jurisprudence, "Natural Law rocks!" ;p

Today

I met a Jew. He had a beard and a funny hat.

Today I met a Jew. And that made my day.

Of course this was apart from battling kids and a sweltering sun and battling kids and battling kids. Other than these, today was a fine sunny sunny day.

White fluff

in the washing machine! Dumped my basket of clothes into the washing machine and put it to wash. An hour later came the poor machine gave a loud beeping sound so I opened the lid to see what happened and all I saw was white fluff!!!

White fluff all over my clothes and apparently the fluff has even jammed up the washing machine. I beat out the shirts and made an amazing snow storm in the kitchen but because the clothes were wet, they remained stubbornly spotted. Ugh! I must have accidentally put in a fantastic amount of tissue paper to cause this blizzard.

No photos because I was frantically trying to clean up after my folly before I became an embarrassment to my housemate!

Lovers, poets and madmen

A long quote from A Midsummer Night's Dream. I really really enjoyed myself at the performance, the Brit humour made it extra palatable. However, the Angmoh man-SPG girl couple, who were constantly making out with each other, beside me gave me the jitters. Quite a disgrace to Asian women, I thought. Even more so with broken English.

More strange than true: I never may believe
These antique fables, nor these fairy toys.
Lovers and madmen have such seething brains,
Such shaping fantasies, that apprehend
More than cool reason ever comprehends.
The lunatic, the lover and the poet
Are of imagination all compact:
One sees more devils than vast hell can hold,
That is, the madman: the lover, all as frantic,
Sees Helen's beauty in a brow of Egypt:
The poet's eye, in fine frenzy rolling,
Doth glance from heaven to earth, from earth to heaven;
And as imagination bodies forth
The forms of things unknown, the poet's pen
Turns them to shapes and gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name.
Such tricks hath strong imagination,
That if it would but apprehend some joy,
It comprehends some bringer of that joy;
Or in the night, imagining some fear,
How easy is a bush supposed a bear!

Blocked

Blogspot is down again but surprisingly Blogger is accessible. I'll just try my luck out with this and bear with the restrictions for a while, after all this is precisely why I came to a foreign land for - to experience its culture, even if it doesn't quite suit me.

Laying down plans for the short time I have here. I am thinking of going to Tibet and stopping by Hongkong to meet up with my tall mortal, CP, Beth and Judyjudyjudy! I hope this works out, it makes me so thrilled thinking about it. At the same time, knowing that my exams end quite early makes me excited about going back, but not necessarily going back to things I actually look forward to, but things I have to work on and I probably need strength and loads of wisdom for that. And ah well, there's still the task of finding someone to rent my place before I leave. Bleagh.

Great news is that my sister will be visiting me in Beijing next week, and then there is Fangxi who will be taking some module in Peking University, and then Sida, Rachel and friends who will begin their backpacking tour starting from Beijing. It feels warm and fuzzy to know that there are visitors from Singapore, almost seems like my prayers about feeling lonely have been answered. Somewhat.

At the same time, I know this sounds like I'm never gonna really stop being restless and sit down and study but hey, I do realise I need to pass! Despite all the reassurance from my really friendly teachers and friends that passing is not a problem, it won't be difficult etc, I wouldn't dare to take chances with answering exam papers in Mandarin. ;p

Looking forward to watching A Midsummer Night's Dream later, and enjoying Gaiman's Sandman adaptation of it at the back of my head!

Little thoughts

Said I would give an update and so I will. One thing I really want to blog about is how I'm greatly humbled by the Chinese Christians I have met so far. They all have a common trait so obvious you cannot possible miss - they are all fervent about their faith and eager to spread the Gospel. It's humbling, really to witness evangelism I never thought possible. They have such a succinct clear understanding and trust in their faith that makes it easy for them to speak out and reach out. Also, the analogies and reasonings I've heard so far are so easy to understand and relate to. I've been greatly greatly humbled. For all these times I thought myself as some sort of a salt and light, at least here to be one, yet like Chek told me God has greater plans for me. Experiences for me to learn from, to grow in. It has been an amazing journey and I know I can expect more from it. And I know I shall continue to be that salt and light I'm meant to be, to allow God's love to shine through me.

Another thing I learnt was having my own identity. I never thought I had any outstanding sins when the call was to ask God to search my heart to help me realise my sins. And so to allow Him to forgive them one by one. It suddenly dawned onto me today that I relish pride. I relish pride so much that I can't quite be alone. I need to feel accepted, to feel that I'm part of people's life. Little wonder why God put me in 五道口to learn to live by myself, to rely on Him wholeheartedly, to find my own identity. Not the sort of identity others have of me. I fear loneliness yet because I frequently thought of myself as a people person and need that sort of attention but God has slowly taught me to let go, to know that I can have that attention from Him and I don't need to frequently seek that attention from others, which I feel can be tiresome for either parties.

I thank God again for placing me here in China, in 五道口，allowing me to have such a different exchange experience, for hanging around with locals and learning to relate to different cultural backgrounds, a skill that Chris (the one in Mongolia) said I lacked or needed to be refined. I can only trust in Him to provide further plans and not be hasty in them. I need to stop counting down to July and settle down snuggly in God's wonderful plans.

One thing I've definitely learnt and need to be conscious of...















Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

你们要靠主常常喜乐。我再说，你们要喜乐。当叫众人知道你们谦让的心。主已经近了。

Philippians/腓立比书 4:4-5

These little angels are like my cheerleaders :)

神阿！你的言语在我上膛何等甘美

Just got back from 白洋淀. I really enjoyed myself and learnt a lot simply by being beside, listening, mentally taking down notes of things happening around me. I must say I was really impressed by what I experienced but for some reasons I shall save it to tell you face to face. :) I have a problem with handling information online. Sigh.

But still, thank God so much for this precious opportunity. I have indeed been reminded of being earnest for God and to start doing certain things that have been bugging my heart ever since...too much thinking and pondering, I fear.

The trip however, has left me feeling a bit tired and hence I shall write about God's goodness another time, in another entry. It's our 23rd month today, or rather yesterday and it's really great to journey on the well-lit path, hand-in-hand. Another interesting thing includes the night cycling trip back which I missed, I heard Joel passed Mark and Clara their commie hats which we had bargained so hard for and I'm amused by the mental image of them cycling down the streets of Singapore with a large furry winter cap. Another less interesting thing is that AGM is a few hours away, and I'm vaguely tickled by how things have turned out.

Which makes me miss VCF somehow, especially the uncontrolled laughter that we share. More detailed updates, soon.

Some photos

Thought it would be injustice not to show some photos of my Beijing frolicks alongside four good mates. But as you can see, I can't quite figure out how to use the photo display function on Blogger. Ah, well. More photos at Flickr if you are interested. It's so lovely to have people visiting you from home, I really treasured the short one week and wished it had somehow never really ended even though it was horribly tiring. I wish I had learnt to treasure the time spent much earlier, rather than coping with that sense of loss after they left.

Somehow the topic of marriage has been popping up quite frequently ever since I got to Beijing. It seems as though one of the most pressing concerns of the people I hang out with. I've been to some talks about marriage and romantic relationships, seen a frenzied match-making session take place in Hangzhou, discussed this topic numerous times. Not to mention that Jianming and Jo, Kelvin and Grace are getting married next month. It's unnerving, really...especially when you're so far away from your other half and getting tad used to feeling single and doing things without him. And almost forgetting things...I guess thank goodness I'm only here for less than half a year. And I do wish that he was around having the same sort of experience I have here...

Looking forward

to a week-long Labour Day holidays.

I'm not doing much though, but am definitely looking forward to catching up with some rest and relaxation. Some letter-writing, some diary-updating and loads of studying. Oh, also to a short retreat to recharge myself. Not so sure if I'm a good example of a typical exchange student. I do seem to be the slackest (in terms of academia) compared to the rest of the exchange students here in China. Like Wanch commented, I seem to do just about every other thing except studying. Bah, crossing my fingers and praying that I'll make it through the Chinese education system!

Great day so far. I went to the primary school for migrant children as usual. The school happened to take half day off because of a parent-teacher meeting in the afternoon. I was rather thankful for that actually, because I have yet to recharge from the 2 week madness and hanging out with young children can be rather tiring, albeit fulfilling. Here are some photos of the sweeties I hang out every Monday. :)










This is Feifei, who is in kindergarten









Children on the round-a-about.



More photos at my flickr account.

小情歌

unpredictable things

Getting a little discouraged with things that are happening. I'll keep praying for God to work miracles for only He is in control now.

my english is deproving...

And my Mandarin doesn't seem to be improving either. So I just end up losing a language and gaining quite nothing esle.

Shuqiu and I made this particular observation during our Forensic Science lecture yesterday morning when the lecturer showed us a 解剖video, which was by the way the most disgusting video I have seen in my entire life, up till now at least.

Well we both knew that 解剖is something like cutting up a corpse and finding evidence but we simply didn't know the English word for it so we leaned over to Xiaowei and asked her. She gave helpful suggestions like urm dissect? cut up? Until we finally got to the word autopsy, followed by a gasp of sudden realisation.

But the sad thing is that I still find a lack of interest in seriously learning and refining my command of the language. But God has brought me to China, of all places. Yet I still find myself yearning for greener pastures and comfortable surroundings and things I'm really interested in, that really mean something to me. Not quite all these, at least...not yet...

...and I simply have to re-emphasise on the grossness of the video, even though the forensic scientist was really skilled and precise, it was just not fun to watch...or remember the images. Sawing and hammering to crack the skull to obtain the brains is still rather aesthetically disagreeable for me to accept. *gulp*

Finally getting some rest today after a hectic two or three weeks. I'll upload pictures and write about our little adventure down south to Jiangsu when I have the time and looking forward to another exciting week with Joel, Beth, Heather and Hannah who are visiting tomorrow night! :) I fear that I shall start missing home again when they arrive, for I have been busy enjoying myself ever since I moved to the city.